RFL has been a fantastic, confusing, happy, and sad time for me. From EQ to hugs, to getting yelled at, to the 500 books I’m now supposed to read, there’s been a lot to take in. I’ve discussed parts parts of RFL with my wife throughout the last 8 months, while still holding back anything that may indicate I joined a cult. But a few weeks ago, I asked her if she has noticed any difference in me since I started the program. I was pleasantly surprised that she said that I now approach potentially contentious conversations with more grace and understanding for the other person. I think she is right and it has been made a difference in many areas of my life.
Deep down most people don’t really want to do things the hard way. We’ve been hurt and broken by life and sometimes we pass that along to others. One way to help stop the domino effect is to try and drown people with grace and empathy. By trying to have more empathy, I’ve had to deal with way fewer conflicts in the last few months than I could have if I approached those situations with pride or trying to be right. While I don’t agree with everything that has been presented in RFL, empathy is something I can get on board with.
I had the best dogs growing up and am now the proud owner of an unnamed beta fish but honestly, I was not thrilled about any of the civic projects. I can now look back and see that I wasn’t motivated because I didn’t see a significant need compared to what I consider to be bigger problems in the world. What motivated me was the fact that my team deeply cared about the project and I care about them. On top of having having the best team, coaches, and sponsor, my civic [project] team experience was great because I was able to use anabolic motivators, like caring for the people around me.